UPDATED 01JUN08
Confucius Says “Treat Hemorrhoids the Chinese Medicine Way”
Being a Chinese 'coolie' is not cool. One can get
hemorrhoids from the strain of pulling the rickshaw.
Hemorrhoids really don't choose race or nationalities. They impale anywhere there is an anus. It only makes a difference which race tends to sit more often. In such pomp or trying times, the pain becomes more or less a racial or national issue.
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Black, brown, white , or yellow anuses or ani (Webster says anus is the correct plural term) suffer the same way. Nobody gets special treatment. The walls of the rectum get inflamed. The veins burst and there is bleeding. Pain is the inevitable result.
The posterior can have the hemorrhoid on the outside or inside. It appears as a clot when the vein is enlarged with blood. It wedges on the surrounding veins and nerve ends causing intense pain. Ouch,mama mia, caramba, and cries of anguish in many languages get provoked.
The Chinese are more studious in their view about hemorrhoids. They group them in three phases.
1ST PHASE: minute hemorrhoids inside the rectum - they show their presence with bloodstains on the stools
2ND PHASE: hemorrhoids that hang out from the anus surface then draw back inside later to hide
3RD PHASE: hemorrhoids that cling to the surface outside the anus – they are forced out by pressures from coughing, sneezing, jerky movements, etc.
The Chinese 'Yin Yang’ beliefs about causes of hemorrhoids
Chinese eat all day. They have tea breaks between major meals. They eat dim sum and dumplings and push them down with tea. A lot of Chinese delicacies use spicy sauces like roasted chilies.
The spicy food weakens the blood vessels and softens them. They get gorged with blood. Clots develop in the anus. Sometimes painful bleeding erupts when the veins rupture. The clots and painful eruptions show up as hemorrhoids.
Pushing and lifting heavy objects, physical straining during training or exercises, moving bowels with grunting and heaving, and repeating pressure inside the lower abdomen on the sphincter and colon result in hemorrhoids.
Too much sitting especially in the workplace for long periods, degenerative diseases like diabetes, obesity- related maladies like cardiac insufficiency and hypertension, irregular bowel movements brought on by diarrhea and constipation (yin and yang, opposing forces) and fatty and imbalanced diets contribute to the onset of hemorrhoids.Pregnancy in women is a fertile breeding ground for hemorrhoids especially for mothers who get postpartum overweight problems.
If it's yellow it must be Chinese, if it's sumptuous, must be Hainanese. When it attacks the anus, say hemorrhoids please.
Orientals don't have yellow or smaller stools because they are physically slight in build. They could very well dump a big mound just like any Westerner. How do minute hemorrhoids entombed in the rectum make their presence felt? They stain the discharge with streaks of blood. Where there is blood, figure a hidden hemorrhoid in the anus.
It starts with an itch. Hey something's moving down there. Could they be squiggly worms? What's that twitching sensation down there? Then the pain gets pronounced. it's no longer funny when blood smudges the toilet paper. Help, panic time, hemorrhoids have arrived.
The lump in the hump when you take a dump could be painful internal hemorrhoid. It's a blod clot filled with lumpy blood. The pain comes from distended veins. It could bump the rump and erupt as a bloody ruptured clot on the outside surface of the anus. Either way sitting down and contact with hard matter gets riddled with sizzling pain. You could say any Chinese with a troubled face stemming from painful challenges or episodes down his bottom is a hemorrhoidal Chinaman.
Chinese checker patterns that confirm the presence of hemorrhoids
intestine flows with the wind – there is no pain. only bleeding signs
intestine in the desert – there is constipation and hardened stools
heat and moisture – swelling and redness become apparent
the all important spleen weakens – the muscle tones turn limp
clotting of blood in lumps – the veins get loosely elasticized and fill with lumpy blood
Chinese drugstore herbal treatments. No dragon parades and dances please
The herbal formulas correspond to the patterns. Take the herbal drinks to particularly address the specific pattern given above -
For the intestinal wind take ground and powdered Huai Jiao Wan formed into 9 gram pills. Take two times a day. In unusual cases where there is bleeding you can either use Zhong Guo Zhi Gen Duan or Yun Nan Bai Yao.
For intestine in the desert which means there is dryness with hard stools as the characteristics of constipation, the following could be ground and powdered into 6 gram pills and taken 3 times a day:
Qin Jiao Bai Zhu Wan
Zeng Ye Cheng Qi Tang
Liang Xue Di Huang Tang
For the intestine in the desert where the hardened and crusty stools need to be liquefied or moistened, take the following after turning them to pills in the same manner:
Run Chang Wan
Gu Ben Wan
Ba Zhen Tang
If there is severe bleeding that accompanies constipation take Huai Hua San
For rubbing directly on the surface of the anus as a topical ointment grind Jing Wan Hong to a waxy paste
The heat and moisture pattern calls for the use of the following Chinese herbs to alleviate the throbbing and discomfort from hemorrhoidal outbursts. (Take note of the indications of the level the hemorrhoidal attack has escalated like degree of redness, the expanse of the swelling, the intensity of itchiness, the viciousness of the pain, the frequency of the abdominal spasms and cramps, the parched dryness of the tongue, and the persistent urge to urinate and defecate)
Huai Hua San – form powder into 9 gram pills. Dissolve in one (1) cup water. With bleeding symptoms Di Yu should be added to the mix
Huang Lian Jie Du Wan
Zhong Guo Zhi Gen Duan – also for bleeding episodes
Jing Wan Hong – for application as a topical ointment The spleen is important in the toning of muscles and the replenishment of energy from food as well as the passing of nutrition to sustain the body. To counteract a sagging spleen use the following Chinese herbs:
Bu Zhong Yi Qi Tang (Wan) – use when there is no bleeding
Huang Tu Tang – use when there is sign of bleeding
Convert both of the above into 9 gram pill dosages.
Loose veins glut with blood and turn to clots called hemorrhoids. Blood gushes out when they break .
Huo Xue San Yu Tang - ingest as a pill with drink
Jing Wan Hong – use a topical ointment
Prick away the hemorrhoids in your curvy buns using needlework in the Chinese medicine ways of acupuncture. Needle patterns over the bladder region counteract the pain of hemorrhoid in the anus. Ear acupuncture also has a opposite pole effect on the painful feelings coming from the area of the anus due to hemorrhoids.
Acupuncture not only addresses the painful discomfort in the nervous system but also contributes to restoring balance in the body in the tug of war between yin and yan forces.
Counteract Hemorrhoids and Pain from Hemorrhoids with healthy servings of Chinese Egg Roll, Mixed Fried rice, Braised noodles, and Beef broccoli. Nothing beats eating Chinese cuisine standing up and spooning it from the 'takee outee’ carton box. He he _ _ _
