Product Quality Reviews: August 2009

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America the beautiful is awash with the most heart stopping stunning pulchritude in the world. It’s unbelievable why men want to be gay. It’s like going to an ‘all you can eat’ smorgasbord at Luby’s Cafeteria and opting for a plain ham sandwich with fake mayo. Suddenly the task to keep the Yankee womenfolk happy has to fall on the lap of goggle eyed salivating migrants or transients who cringe like jitterbugs because they feel overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of gorgeous damsels asking for it.

I don’t know what these American Venuses eat that makes them grow to perfect proportions with beguiling facial sculptures to top them. It can’t be McDonald’s hamburger or bottomless Coke because those have swept the whole world beyond competition to become part of every outing to catch the latest Hollywood movie. But to dangle Megan Fox in full wide panoramic vision inside dark air-conditioned dungeons to torture our loins and make our heartbeats skip should be considered an overt and hostile act of war.

You know what makes Hollywood movies tick to capture the fancy of all kinds of nationalities worldwide? Who cares if they are stories about Western life? Who cares if the main characters are blonde and blue eyed? Who cares that in the totally alien culture depicted in the films they are shown eating apple pie and Thanksgiving turkey with cranberry siding? Celluloid from Hollywood capitalized on the hook of the beautiful women. Now who can resist the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Kate Gosselin, Heidi Montag; to name a few.

First time I landed on American soil taught me that TV and cinema understate real sizes. These American nymphs are indeed so captivating but lo and behold many of them stand a head taller than me. On a United flight from Vancouver to Seattle which served as my initiation into continental haloed ground, I immediately fell in love even though I hadn’t disembarked from the plane yet. Right across the row in the far window seat the most breathtaking brunette met my eye with a coy smile and that secret look which was a cue to play a ruse of accidentally bumping into each other at the galley. Both of us got dismayed when we got up and measured by the center aisle to realize that she was about two inches taller.

Size doesn’t really matter if the action goes horizontal. Look at Tom Cruise; he’s the world’s greatest lover after Casanova, Marquis De Sade, Louis XIV, Porfirio Rubirosa, JFK, Dody Fayed, and David Spade, but both he and the latter have shortcomings above the head more than made up by low hanging weaponry below their waists. Can you believe the harem that fell into the hands of that shrimp David Spade? If odds makers wager that repertoire and other attributes count more than length in lovemaking, this mating machine must have a tongue longer than an iguana’s and fingers with more torrid ambidexterity that Eddie Van Halen. Sad to say I came armed with none of the above.

The pleasure of eating is in the dining. You can’t gobble, chew, and swallow with reckless abandon and try to find fulfillment in voluminous consumption done redundantly. Epicurean delights entail a devotion to ritual, ingredients, spices, prime cuts, presentation, artistry, and timelessness by way of easing constraints. Every physiological need should be treated with the same savoir faire most especially the art of physical gratification in romance. The Abba Krishna teaches us that moving the bowels is not mere dumping of waste from the body in a volatile release over a bowl. It has a deeper synergy with the spirit in the accompanying cathartic cleansing of pressures from the mind to obtain a state of blissful detachment albeit fleetingly.

Kimberly was as hefty and mesmerizing as Kelly McGillis in Top Gun with Tom Cruise. Big boned and filled with flawless flesh to the brim in curvaceous form, she was as American as an oversized plate of chili burger with fries at Friday’s. Except that she was radiantly blonde with golden yellow locks that flared down at random over her blue sparkling baubles that winced in tandem with pristine ivory porcelains when she smiled. Lionizing her should halt with this breathless paean to her outward beauty but it wouldn’t be complete without a mention that she was the nicest person in the world. It can’t be helped that such sweetness came with the package like a Grecian classic.

She came in to put some semblance of systematic order in the reservation files which back then when PC’s elicited ambivalent fascination like an extraterrestrial contraption, consisted of unwieldy clutters of folders in droll filing cabinets that were office eyesores.We matched well being of the same height and girth plus our sense of humor seemed to draw us closer in mental playfulness that blew hot and cold in a flirtation dance of sizing each other up. The build up came to a boiling point when the office flew us to Denver to have a team building workshop and product familiarization tour of Breckenridge prior to the launch of the next ski season’s program. She sat next to me on the plane and on the bus that brought us to the resort. It seemed a breeze as we hit off real well while we talked and laughed all the way about any topic under the brilliant azure sky that drooped like a loose net over your face in the high altitudes of the Rocky Mountains. You felt closer like never before to the Father God the Abba Krishna and the Rockies seemed to be the first steps in the stairway to His domain. But back then there was the bud of life to nip and Colorado high was not only a bulging lump in my heart but throbbed like a bucking bronco down below.

The question was if the libido was raring to go would the fleshy part square up to the task? I had misgivings that I would come up short. She looked robust and full of bustling Anglo Saxon genes that bestowed goddess visions coupled with mud wrestling voluptuousness. I didn’t want to be the shrimp that tried to make it with a big red lobster.She might mistake my big foreplay to be the scurrying of little mice. Even my tongue shrunk back from the daunting challenge up ahead of delivering phantasms of erotica to a bottomless chasm of desirable bubbling fiery golden whirlpools in a box. Jack or jerk in a box was the last thing I wanted to be to Kimberly in this most important joining which could go down in history as the dud that failed to emblazon in the sky of passion. In simple words, would mine at least scrape with a difference on the walls?

I retreated to the room as soon as the group uncorked the first bottles at the bar true to form. Kimberly had a surprised look and thought something was wrong by my hasty exit without explanation. She merely shrugged and allowed the night to roll on to later see what develops. I felt so unworthy and incapable of making her happy and covered myself completely with the thick blanket as shivers overtook my embryonic curling up. I was so in love but my damn blasting caps felt so inappropriate and inadequate. I wished over the niggling fears that I wielded the biggest Cavendish not the miniscule fruit of the loom trapped between my shaking groins.

I jumped up from my fitful snooze when a rapping on the door woke me at dawn. It was Kimberly and she was drunk out of her wits. I let her in but she just leaned back on the door to close it behind her. She said nothing but merely smiled as the tears began to stream down her eyes like unspoken cuts of a knife that jagged the edges between us. I wanted to explain that maybe the physical climax to our romance was something that didn’t belong in the normal course of affairs because of structural differences. But how can you say all of that with a straight face and not sound like the biggest asshole in the world? She dried her eyes and left without a word. There are no words to describe me.

Back in the office at Richmond Square the following week, my jaws dropped when I saw her draped in the arms of Tony, the building manager, who was the dapper playboy who alternately dated all the good looking women on all the floors. Kimberly looked right through me like I was a lost soul as they continued in a tight bundle to the garage at the basement. But I love her and wish I could have been Tony up to this day. I wish that I could make her happy in some way. I send to the Abba Krishna my yearning for her so that He might bless her with happiness, fulfillment, and success. And so I console myself with vestiges of her beauty which are best represented by the line-up of the most beautiful faces on Facebook who are leading candidates for the throne of Miss Facebook America 2009.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m proud to present the first group of nominees for the

M I S S F A C E B O O K A M E R I C A 2 0 0 9

B E A U T Y P A G E A N T

http://www.facebook.com/lisamacci

LISA MACCI

MISS FACEBOOK FLORIDA

http://www.facebook.com/kimberlykaye?_fb_noscript=1

KIMBERLY WYATT

MISS FACEBOOK CALIFORNIA

http://www.facebook.com/clare.rowley1

CLARE ROWLEY

MISS FACEBOOK ARIZONA

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jill-Barton-Stone/1404893476

JILL BARTON STONE

MISS FACEBOOK NEW YORK

http://www.facebook.com/people/Debra-Wolfe/1320552111

DEBRA WOLFE

MISS FACEBOOK ARKANSAS

http://www.facebook.com/cathleen.schwing

CASEY SCHWING

MISS FACEBOOK OHIO

http://www.facebook.com/people/Laurie-Mceathron-Marchese/683176596

LAURIE MCEATHRON-MARCHESE

MISS FACEBOOK ILLINOIS

http://www.facebook.com/people/Megan-Furcolow/1425821062

MEGAN FURCOLOW

MISS FACEBOOK WISCONSIN

http://www.facebook.com/people/Knar-Orchanian/1377176316

KNAR ORCHANIAN

MISS FACEBOOK TEXAS

http://www.facebook.com/HeatherRouge

HEATHER ROUGE

MISS FACEBOOK WASHINGTON

WATCH FOR THE CONTINUATION OF MISS

FACEBOOK AMERICA 2009 AT THE FOLLOWING

LINK:

B L O G G E R E L

http://wwwbloggerel.blogspot.com

BROWSE BACK THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FACES

ON FACEBOOK SO FAR TALLIED BY CLICKING

THE LINKS FOR THE SITES LISTED BELOW

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers One(1) To Eleven(11)

Please Click The Link Below:

B L O G M A G A Z I N E

http://wwwblogazine.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers Twelve(12) To Twenty-Five(25)

Please Click The Link Below:

B L O G T A B L O I D

http://wwwtabloid.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers Twenty-Six(26) To Thirty-Five(35)

Please Click The Link Below:

B L O G G E R E L

http://wwwbloggerel.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers Thirty-Six(36) To Fifty-Six(56)

Please Click The Link Below:

O N L I N E E M P O R I U M

http://www.onlineemporium.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers Fifty-Seven(57) To Sixty-Four(64)

Please Click The Link Below:

B L O G G A D O C I O

http://wwwbloggadocio.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers Sixty-Five(65) To Seventy-Four(74)

Please Click The Link Below:

P R O D U C T Q U A L I T Y R E V I E W S

http://www.excellentqualityreviews.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers Seventy-Five(75) To Eighty-Eight(88)

Please Click The Link Below:

S T O P S M O K I N G

http://www.stopsmokingaddiction.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers Eighty-Nine(89) To One Hundred(100)

Please Click The Link Below:

A N G E L OF T H E L O R D

http://www.angellordnovel.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers One Hundred One(101) To One Hundred Twelve(112)

Please Click The Link Below:

S E E K A N D F I N D B A Z A A R

http://www.seekandfindbazaar.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers One Hundred Thirteen(113) To One Hundred Thirty-Six(136)

Please Click The Link Below

I N T E R N E T F L E A M A R K E T

http://www.internetfleamarket.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces On Facebook

Numbers One Hundred Thirty-Seven(137) To One Hundred Seventy-Five(175)

Please Click The Link Below:

P L E A S A NT F I N D S

http://wwwpleasantfinds.blogspot.com

Most Beautiful Faces on Facebook

Numbers One Hundred Seventy-Six(176) To One Hundred Eighty-Nine(189)

Please Click The Link Below:

M I R T H A N D M E R R Y

http://www.mirthandmerry.blogspot.com