Jose Roxas Leveriza
08 July 2008
Naughty Nits Sales Letter
Don’t let your crotch
be a Trojan Horse
from where pubic lice
will sneak out in droves
at night to overrun your lover and your bed! Don’t let your tryst go down as a scratching match!
Itchy sensations in the genitals can overturn sexual pleasure!
750 lice can lurk in your pubic hair and bed waiting for the chance to infest your mate! Female lice can lay three eggs a day. They multiply in geometric patterns to assemble a formidable army in just 30 days to invade your love life, imperil your good health, and ruin your peace of mind!
Dear Romantic Friend,
You are a hunk with an Adonis sculpted body. Or you could be a temptress with a seductive figure to kill for. All of these love assets could be wasted if pubic lice encroached into your perfect form.
You can get paranoid about pubic lice. You cower from the prospect of being discovered as a sufferer or blamed as a carrier. You begin to suspect some of your close circle of friends or your erstwhile lover to have passed them to you.
How you got them is not as urgent as how to get rid of pubic lice or crabs right away! You want to grab the best effective solution without threading through layers of hype, finger pointing, and former formulas that don’t really work.
OLD STUFF DON’T WORK FAST ENOUGH OR THAT THOROUGH!
Pubic lice persist that’s why they are called
stubborn stragglers. They hunker down to
eke a firm foothold in your pubic area and
refuse to go away.
Pubic lice or crabs get hardened and settle
tenaciously on the rebound. If they recur,
purging them becomes doubly perplexing.
The archaic way of combing them away from your pubic hair has gone the way of tpewriters in a world full of laptops and cyber multimedia. After sifting torridly with the comb, you get thrown back when you see them crawling about as usual.
Some chemical based sprays and shampoos have watered down formulas that can’t take off the ground because of diffused strength. Their laggard ways give time and sample to the pubic lice to build up immunity against them.
You can grow despondent over the staying power of pubic lice to cling fast to your body and environs. It’s like a 24/7 declaration of war that goes on day and night with no ceasefire. You can end up a nervous wreck because of them!
Pubic lice converge on your pubic area like the promised land. They dig deep, grow roots, and reproduce in leaps and bounds. Using your genitals as a staging point they mount sorties to make their presence felt in other parts of your body.
You can’t drive away lice by raking over the surface with a fine tooth comb. They have the ability to burrow deep under the surface until the threat passes over. Same with old formulas that linger on top. The pubic lice duck below them and remain unharmed.
You have to interdict pubic lice in all fronts and attack them from different directions. You have to ferret them out from their lairs under the skin and drive them out to the open to be zapped. Naughty Nits is the savior of victims long suffering from pubic lice. Uncap and unleash pubic lice genocide in a bottle.
Waiting too long to act plays to the hands of pubic lice, as they need time to group their invading horde. While you are dilly-dallying, they are reproducing like mad in sheer numbers.
Why wait for itching in your genitals and your anus before you are pushed to take concrete steps. By that late time your love life and reputation could be in shambles. Your lover could be abhorred by the ‘cooties’ you passed and dump you like a wet rag.
Don’t be a weasel and go on a denial mode when your partner confronts you about passing the pubic lice. If you contort from the fury of scratching your private parts, you know deep in your heart that you are the culprit.
SCRATCHING MUNCHKINS…
PUBIC LICE HATCHINGS
LOVEBIRDS SUFFERINGS
BLAME THE MISGIVINGS
NAUGHTY NITS HEALS THINGS
BY PUBIC LICE KILLINGS
BRINGS BACK LOVINGS
AND THE SWEET NOTHINGS
Play hero by giving Naughty Nits to your loved one who gets infested with pubic lice after your passionate dalliance. From heel you will rise up as the knight in shining armor on the wings of the sweeping success of Naughty Nits.
You feel stabbed in the heart when you see ‘lovey dovey’ couples holding hands and exchanging sweet nothings. You feel like an outcast because pubic lice impinged on the peace and tranquility of your romantic life. Your partner left you!
Naughty Nits lays down a scorched earth policy for pubic lice. Their bridges to return are burned down forever. The encampments the pubic lice built on your pubic hair are razed to the ground. Pubic lice can’t ever stage a comeback. Naughty Nits won’t allow it.
To win the war of attrition against pubic lice, their routes to resurgence should be totally cut off. The formula hatched in the labs using the best of natural and homeopathic mixes was geared to work inside out. It made the formerly friendly terrain inhospitable for the return of pubic lice.
Species survive and propagate by reproduction. The pubic lice do it by the laying of their eggs underneath your pubic hair where they build nests. Naughty Nits seeps down with its deep penetrating action to seek out the nests and destroy them.
Naughty Nits is the rider of the apocalypse that brings total annihilation to colonies of pubic lice that scurry in various parts of your body. Naughty Nits is the Armageddon that will bring the Day of Judgment to end the existence of public lice in your body.
The creams, ointments, and lotions in drugstore shelves are mostly useless against pubic lice. They do not do a thorough mop up job. They kill a few scouts but miss out on a whole battalion under the skin where the eggs are.
‘SCORCHED EARTH POLICY’ Naughty Nits interdicts pubic lice under the hard skin! Like the sweep of the angel of death, eggs are blown to bits!
Naughty Nits is all natural and friendly to your skin. Creams and lotions from drugstore shelves are laced with pesticides and harsh chemicals. Your embattled skin from the pubic lice incursions deserves a break with the tender loving touch of ‘au naturelle’ Naughty Nits.
Naughty Nits is easy to use and cannot poison the food that you touch or irritate your eyes when you rub them. It’s all so natural that you can actually taste a few drops without getting sick or reeling from the bad taste.
There’s little ritual involved in applying Naughty Nits to your skin. Just apply it like skin lotion and forget about it. It doesn’t leave a white wax or oily residue on the skin which needs to be rubbed away so they won’t be an eyesore.
There are so many secret sufferers from pubic lice infestation who prefer to remain incognito due to the stigma associated with the malady. Movie stars, CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies, Top politicians, Business moguls, Star athletes, and even late night Comedians share in the common embarrassment
GUESS WHERE THEY GOT IT?
THEY ALL LIVE IN THE SAME APARTMENT COMPLEX WITH PEGGY
GUESS THEY ALL LEARNED THE LESSON YOU CAN’T ALWAYS USE YOUR HEAD
PLUS SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE COULD GET UNHEALTHY
